A short primer

Archetypes currently found in and around Hollywood, Part One:

This is Alec Baldwin.



Alec is what is known as an Alpha Male Actor. That means he can get puffy and mean and many, many people will still desire him.

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This is Carrot Top. He is what is known as a Prop Comic. This means he can wear a thick matte base and mutate his bodily parts at will, because he "entertains."

Don't make eye contact!

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This is Paris Hilton.
She is known as a Celebutant, which is Latin for "taunting you with her celebrity." That means she can use racial slurs and be on television and people will pay her lots of money to stand in one place.

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Here is Susan Sarandon. Susan is commonly known as an Alpha Female Actor. She's as old as your mom, but much, much hotter. She has paired off with an Alpha Male Actor, Tim Robbins, and some felt he had an unfortunately doughy affect. Their feelings about him, however, have since shifted to more generous impression, due to his extreme talent, but sone suspect he could do with lightening up, perhaps by drinking draft beer while playing air guitar.

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This is Robert Downey, Jr.

This is a fine example of the rare Distractingly Attractive Multi-talented Hyphenate. (Please disregard the lavender suit.)

He is currently dating, Dear Reader, yours truly.

Yes, way.

Tomorrow: Part Two! A short primer of celebrity endorsements