Things I learned in March

While one may spend several hours concocting the best home-made cupcakes ever, with the best home-made frosting ever, children will vote every single time for the frosting stuff from the can, because lard is just that good.

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I think that's it. It's been a slow month.

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Oh, and also? Someone from a Canadian bank found my blog this morning by searching for the term "p*ssy snorkling savannah."


Hello, Canadian bankers! We salute you! But not in that way.

While I don't know what the search term means exactly, it does seem to indicate that I have unfairly dismissed the world of Canadian banking as unduly staid.

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One more thing:

Let's take a moment to recognize Cloris Leachman.

Why now? Well, Chloris is the goddess of places shaded by trees, shrubs, and vines - so happy Spring, y'all. While she may not have that goddessy "h" in her name, Cloris Leachman has won a Best Supporting Actress Oscar, nine Emmys and a Golden Globe. She's damn funny. She's been in everything from "Twilight Zone" and "Lassie" episodes to "Schoolhouse Rock" to fantastic Japanese anime to Mel Brooks' features. And stage. And "Mary Tyler Moore." And "Malcolm In The Middle." And she stole "Spanglish." And on and on.

Cloris Leachman? You "Schoolhouse Rock" my world.

[Okay, this one is very upbeat. Almost "punchy." You need to stand to belt this one out, preferably while on a slightly wobbly three-legged stool, to give the illusion of drinking.*

*Or, you know, start drinking.]

Smarty and sassy!
Remarkably classy!
It's a shame
You haven't been hit
with more fame!

Cloris Leachman,
you're a peach, and
we don't care that
you don't have an "h"
in your first name!